Read this and your life will changeSeriously
by Gothic Dude
Summary: hell, this is really bad, how long ago did i write this!it just really sucks....anyway read it and laugh at how much of an idiot i used to be, i really couldn't write, i just can't get over how bad this is.....sorry i'm really sorry ok i'ma gonna rewrite
1. Squall

AN: okay, this is my re-write.not sure how much worse, or better which I doubt, it's gonna be, so just read it, yeah? Okay thanks. Okay it's fairly.scratch that, it's very juvenile but you know try to understand I'm not actually writing this out again and changing it, I'm just adding more.no, please don't leave!!!  
  
Disclaimer: SS own FF and I own nothing.except my cat! Anyone wanna buy my cat?! Only 10gil? *silence* thought not.but what you don't know is that my cat is an evil ninja cat!!! Muhahahahahahaha*coughs*hahahaha.just.nevermind.  
  
AN(again): okay so in this fic I'm supposed to be a reporter interviewing FF8 people for the special FF8 edition of "Final Fantasy Maniacs".yeah umm so on with the fic I guess.  
  
Me: okay, so Squall, tell me about yourself because I, and the public I'm sure, feel that you aren't very open, just tell us what do you do in your spare time?  
  
Squall: well, if you really must know, I go to gay disco clubs with Zell every Monday, Wednesday and bank holiday ah hahaha.  
  
*silence*  
  
Squall: it was a joke.  
  
Me: ohhhhhhhhhh right *coughs* well, I've thought about it and, well you shouldn't.  
  
Squall: shouldn't what?  
  
Me: make a joke.EVER!  
  
Squall: oh, okay I see, ARGH HERE COMES ZELL IN THE FLUFFY PINK BUNNY COSTUME!!! I REALLY SHOULDN'T'VE TOLD YOU OUR SECRET!!! *runs off screaming like a little girl who just got her nail varnish chipped by a crazed lunatic with a bazooka in a drive by shooting*  
  
Me (officially weirded out) : ooooooohhhhhhhhkay.right, I really didn't need to know that.or see it!!!  
  
AN: okay, yeah at least it's longer than it was before, still short I know but still.and I have a feeling that the AN's are longer than the chapter itself so I'll stop writing now. 


	2. Seifer

(AN: my sugar rush has died down so this will be a lot less funny, no wait wrong word, a lot less weird)  
  
Me: So Seifer, Seifer?, are you OK what are you doing? *Seifer turns around* Seifer:*in an innocent voice* nothing. Me: you can't hold nothing! * I reach for my Uzi gun * Me: LISTEN SEIFER I HAVE TRIED TO MAKE THIS A GODDAMN FUNNY FIC AND AM FAILING MISERABLY, SO IF YOU SHOW ME WHATS IN YOUR HAND IT MIGHT AT LEAST BE A BIT MORE INTERESTING! Seifer: No need to shout, you're gonna make me CRY and put that away, guns are dangerous don'tchaknow?!? Me: Believe me Seifer I know! Seifer: pretty please with a happy pill on top don't hurt me *starts to cry* Me: GRRRRRRRR * gun shot*, *crying stops abruptly* Me: *in a cheerful voice* thank you Seifer, even if you did have something important to do and had to leave very very quickly.  
  
* you see two medics come in and shove someone in a bodybag * 


	3. Rinoa

Me: CRAP!, I've got Rinoa next, slut ( AN: Rinoa fans don't take offence, not a serious fic) Rinoa: I'm like totally right here, like whatever! Me: right, so I've noticed, you didn't have to bring Angelo along and WHY is he wearing a pink badly knitted cat suit?!? Rinoa: I like totally always wanted a like cat but all I like got was a dog! Angelo: * Whimpers* Me: reason enough for me, so how are the 'Phsycadelic Sluts Dancing on Luminous Poles' doing? Rinoa:Like totally great, PSDLP FOREVER!But we never get any Female customers, which saddens me.*Sniff* Me: I'm not even gonna ask why! * Rinoas mobile rings* Rinoa: oh my god really! Sorry have to go one of my sluts have just injured their *COUGHRECTALCOUGH* area and none has a car! Squall: NOOO! Don't leave me Rinny-go-go-kins we were going to go shopping for hotpants! * Seifer comes in singing ' who wears short shorts'ect* *BANG ceiling caves in, slightly, gun not big enough* Me: SEIFER, SHUT THE HELL UP!next? 


	4. Zell

Me: all right Chicken wuss come on in Zell: don't call me that it hurts my touchy feelings Me: oh Hyne, I'm sorry I forgot only Seifer is allowed call you that because you love him and that's why you put up with it and you're the one who left him the * coincidentally a truck is going by at the exact moment you're about to hear all the rude things Zell left Seifer on Valentines Day, and I bet you wanted to know what they were too you naughty, naughty people! Shame on you!* Zell: how did you know?! *ahem* I mean what are you talking about? Me: ohh Zell I think you know and if you've forgotten I think I could somehow jog your memory * badly hiding a shotgun behind my back* so you can tell every one. Zell: Ahh. no need for that, I like cheese do you? * tries to attack me*  
  
Me: SECURITY! * Zell is being dragged off kicking and screaming* Zell: it wasn't me I swear I didn't eat all the crayons in the waiting room! * PHSSSST* *Silence* Me: hello, Looney Bin? 


	5. Selphie

Me:*Thoughts:must.be.nice.to.Selphie.Anger.Manager.told.me.to.be.nice.to.Sel phie.* hello Selphie and welcome! Selphie: hello, I came by train, trains are great!* starts singing train train take us away'ect.* Me: must.be.nice..Ahhh CRAP IT ALLLLLLLLL!!! * I get up and bitch slap her* Selphie: owww!*she tackles me* Irvine: bitch fight, bitch fight, bitch fight * Zell joins in* Squall: that's not a nice name to call someone! Selphie: OK,OK, stop I won't sing anymore. Me: OK,bitch . Selphie: what was that? Me: nothing.(thoughts:mental note must sue Anger Manager) so tell me about your new job, Organizing the annual world Garden Fete and trading Kittens for Snakes? Selphie: wanna be on the committee ? Me: NO! * Selphie chases me around the room asking the same questin over and over again until I finally say yes, hoping against all hope that she'd go away after that, but sadly she didn't* Selphie:You're only saying that to get rid of me, you have to want to do it, you have to FEEL the love for it! * and again with the chasing* 


	6. Irvine

(AN: my sugar rush is completely gone so I just have to go to the fridge to get more PEPSI..there, I'm back Sugar,Sugar,Sugar!) Me:Yo! S'up Irvine? Irvine: errrr.. isn't Zell supposed to say that or did you just steal it from him? Me: GRRRRRR, everyone thinks I stole it from him, anywho on to my first question, where did you get all your cool guns from, I mean, they ROCK! Irvine: errr from a junk shop, didn't SS make that clear?  
  
Me: yeah I know that, but WHERE from? Irvine: a.junk.shop! Me: just FREAKIN' TELL ME ALREADY! ARRG *gets a rocket launcher* THIS IS FOR SAYING I COPIED ZELL DINTCH! *KABOOM* ( AN: I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry, I just don't know what happened! Forgive me! Forgive me?) Disclaimer: I don't own PEPSI but someone out there does and it's their job to sue me! 


	7. Quistis

Quistis: Hello K-(cut off by me) Me: none's supposed to know my real name! Quistis: ohh my apologies! Me: yeah, yeah save it for the judge, anyway if you're so smart can you do one simple thing for me? Quistis: Sure. Me: OK, don't think about Pink Elephants and Purple Penguins....you're thinking about them aren't you? Quistis: Yes I am, I'm thinking why shouldn't I be thinking about Pink Elephants and Purple Penguins if they don't exist I only think about real matters such as who stole my beard shaver, I mean who stole Irvines beard shaver hehehehehe! Me: Well shows how much you know * pushes a button marked PE&PP* Quistis: ARRGGGHHH HELP ME I'M BEING TRAMPLED BY PINK ELEPHANTS AND PURPLE PENGUINS!!!!!!!  
  
(AN: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sometimes sugar can be good, sometimes bad)  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own the PE and PP joke my friend does, and I don't own sugar *starts to cry* 


End file.
